I'd like to start this informing you all that this was not easy to write, not by any means. I'm pretty much forcing myself to do it, though. You guys deserve to know.
I've been going through some drama lately with some people I know in the UTAU fandom. Nothing serious, of course. But it is significant enough. And after many deep conversations quite a few things have been sorted out. Because of it, I can breathe easier but I haven't even done the hardest part yet. The hardest part will we writing this, and especially posting it. It'll be even more worrisome to face whatever responses this may get.
Before I go on, please know that I never meant to lie to all of you. But I had to, and I have done so since you have all met me. I apologize for that, and it feels good to finally be honest, despite the negative reaction I might get. Allow me to elaborate.
I am not the real R3K0D4.
That is to say, the real R3K0D4 no longer exists, if s/he ever truly did. A year and a half ago or so, I was approached by someone bearing that username. I had been curiously asking around about UTAU at the time, trying to learn how it worked and how to use it. The person that was, at the time, R3K0D4, came to me offering to help. But moreover, they came to me ASKING for help. They knew a great deal of the technical side; what an OTO was and how to make one, how to record different kinds of voice banks, how to use flags and resamplers and all sorts of things. They even had tinkered with creating original songs. I, myself, had until that point advertised myself on YouTube as an amateur voice actor. The deal was that I would provide my voice, and R3K0D4 would manage the voicebanks. Originally, I was not R3K0D4, nor did I have anything to do with the user other than providing samples.
Until they learned I could draw, and do it fairly well.
Yes, that's right, here's the second lie I've been handing to you all, despite my better judgement. I, R3K0D4, actually consider myself a fairly decent artist. I've sold my art at several different shows, I've done countless commissions, and I've even gone to school for art. I digress, for now.
After Rekoda-chan's first voice bank was recorded, using MY voice, R3K0D4 learned of my art skills. They weren't yet willing to ask me to lend my artistic abilities, but they did accept some rough concept sketches. It was some time later, probably almost exactly a year ago, that I wound up drawing several character designs for a final project in school. After sharing them with R3K0D4, it became obvious that one design in particular had captured their attention. It took a lot of voice strain and a little audio tweaking, but not long after I had recorded another voice bank. The bank was immediately adapted to the artwork that became an UTAUloid, an event unforeseen and unplanned. And, yeah, that voice bank is Jun Hiroshi.
At this point, I pretty much became a member of the team. As I was given the usernames and emails and passwords for all various R3K0D4 accounts, I learned an interesting truth. R3K0D4 was already a team. I'm not sure how many members were in the team at the time, my guess is between three and five. Each member put forth a different skill into the user that was "R3K0D4″. I was the voice provider and a part-time art provider; the others did OTOing, managed banks, audio mixing, video making, model making, and provided art. This other artist, known as Mikiya, was to collaborate with me to provide art for R3K0D4. He and I were lumped together and kept as a separate entity from R3K0D4 since we were both new on the team, and R3K0D4 was already known not to be any form of visual artist. It was easier to keep R3K0D4 looking as one person if they didn't suddenly gain a skill that takes time to develop, right?
So here's confession number three, I am also Mikiya.
Now that I'm on a roll this is getting easier. Cleaning out these lies that have been cluttering me up is kind of like cleaning a messy room. It's daunting and scary and hectic at first, but now that it's winding down
phew. If you're still reading this and you don't hate me yet, THANK YOU, seriously. I am so very thankful for your patience and whatever bit of understanding you can muster for me. Now, I shall continue.
THE GREAT COMPUTER BREAKAGE OF 2011. So sometime last year, my computer took a pretty bad virus and wouldn't even boot up. Everything I had been working on, Rekoda-chan's voice bank, her concepts, some original songs and concept works
all were gone with my computer. The R3K0D4 team took a critical hit, and with me gone, they really couldn't do much. I was pretty frustrated at myself for this. They collectively agreed to cease most of their action. It was actually in this time that I recorded for Hiroshi, just to keep the timeline straight for you. I recorded him off my shitty laptop. I didn't want the team to have to stop all together on my account, so instead of continuing the UTAUloid Rekoda-chan, we put her on hold due to my computer issues, and started work on Jun Hiroshi in the mean time. During the lull in activity, the team lost some members. One formally quit and offered apologies and regrets, but hey, what could we do? (They were the MMD model maker/PMDe user, btw.) The other quitter was the other artist; shortly after he was on board he changed his mind. Since he had already been established as Mikiya, I had to take over his spot. So not only was I the voice (literally) of R3K0D4, I was also the sole artist. I also had to take up other jobs, like video editing and mixing. R3K0D4 taught me all they could about OTOing, and I also started learning more about the UTAU program from other sources.
Not long after I finally got my computer back things really fell apart. What was left of R3K0D4, other than myself, had started to be less and less active. It became weeks between replies about questions I had. I had to adapt and take the reigns, and I, essentially, became R3K0D4. That's around the time I joined UO. Mikiya was still sort of around and there was occasional word from R3K0D4, but it became obvious that both had lost interest in the project. So, I took over both accounts, and I had to take up the guise of being both. It was pretty difficult, at first. But really, all I had to remember was "bad grammar for Mikiya, good grammar for Reko". Haha, yeeaaaah
I'm that pathetic. Ahem. But anyway, we're on the last leg of this tale.
The last month or two has pretty much been the absolute disappearance of Mikiya and the official resignation of R3K0D4. But, before R3K0D4 left for good, just after handing everything to me, they offered me the choice of just making a new account and working with everything from there. We discussed this possibility, for a time, and whether I would just act as though Mikiya and R3K0D4 had permanently joined forces, all while secretly being just me, or if I would out myself as multiple people that decided to better get their shit together and start with a new, shiny identity.
As you can tell by this TL;DR confession, I chose neither option.
I am now R3K0D4, fully and finally, and I am also Mikiya. I am a voice provider, a bank manager, a mixer, and an artist. I can sort of make videos, but I am absolutely no good at model making (although I have been learning physics, at least. They seem pretty straight-forward). While I'm at it, I might as well confess I'm also part of AnachronisticServo. Yeah, that's right, AnachronisticServo is a team, too. And I will be providing voices and art for them, and have been teaching them the ways of the english voice bank. XD
I know I say I'm voice shy a lot, but that's just because I'm wary over being recognized as the amateur voice actor I'm not really active as anymore. The caution has paid off, since some people have suspected me, and my cover hasn't blown before now. But now I'll be more out there with my voice, and if people ask me directly about it I'll admit to things.
And now that I have all this off my chest, I hope you all aren't angry with me. And if you are, I don't blame you I was lying about a lot of things to you guys, and the guilt admittedly was pretty terrible. But now that it's just me and ONLY me running this account, I can finally be free to admit these things. It was a long time coming and I'm glad I am finally able to get all this off my chest. It got tricky trying to keep up the guise of both Mikiya and R3K0D4.
And now I want to shower all with art for being so amazing and putting up with me for whenever I complained I couldn't arts.
So, thank you for reading this, and thank you all for being by my side thus far. I really do like all of you and even if who I was pretending to be has been a lie, you have all been true, genuine friends, and all the laughs and tears we shared have been real. No feelings have been a lie, that I can guarantee. I'm still the same person, just suddenly a lot less secretive. <3 I love you all. Thank you.
PS, I should also point out I'm the one who owns Miriam. Yaaay!
I'll be leaving this account because it is primarily for MMD/PMDe models, and, well, I can't make them. I won't close it, because I might come back when I get good at physics. Until then, you can find me here: VikingScarecrow
So be sure to add my art account!~ I'll be there for sure.